[More. More than friends. The question startles all words out of him. His instinct is to deny it, because feelings like that are vulnerable, bruisable, something you hold close to yourself - and because he doesn't know what he thinks.] No!
No, I... [She's his best friend. Someone like him, weak and fragile and broken. Someone who needed to be protected, who needed to be reminded that she mattered. And he wanted to do that for her. He wanted her to turn to him first when she needed help. He wanted to be there for her. He wanted to be important to her. He wanted to matter.]
Kaori is my best friend. [He reasserts, but his wide-eyed look shows that his thoughts are not with the words he's saying.] She means more to me than what I know how to say.
[More than he had ever figured out how to say...
Aleos had said it was complicated. He can't ignore the slight lift of his chest when he hears that - unmistakable relief that Aleos would be kept apart from Kaori, for whatever reason. He doesn't even care what the reason is, as long as it's a reason.
The way he feels about her now is the same way he felt the last time he had seen her. Nothing has changed, has it? Then...he tries to remember farther back. When he was still wracked by doubts, still taking his first tentative steps toward her - looking back, it's hard to find the seams of where one feeling changed into another. She had become such an important piece of his life so quickly... Even when he had rejected her, it had been because his feelings for her were too large for him to contain. He hadn't been able to stay away.
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No, I... [She's his best friend. Someone like him, weak and fragile and broken. Someone who needed to be protected, who needed to be reminded that she mattered. And he wanted to do that for her. He wanted her to turn to him first when she needed help. He wanted to be there for her. He wanted to be important to her. He wanted to matter.]
Kaori is my best friend. [He reasserts, but his wide-eyed look shows that his thoughts are not with the words he's saying.] She means more to me than what I know how to say.
[More than he had ever figured out how to say...
Aleos had said it was complicated. He can't ignore the slight lift of his chest when he hears that - unmistakable relief that Aleos would be kept apart from Kaori, for whatever reason. He doesn't even care what the reason is, as long as it's a reason.
The way he feels about her now is the same way he felt the last time he had seen her. Nothing has changed, has it? Then...he tries to remember farther back. When he was still wracked by doubts, still taking his first tentative steps toward her - looking back, it's hard to find the seams of where one feeling changed into another. She had become such an important piece of his life so quickly... Even when he had rejected her, it had been because his feelings for her were too large for him to contain. He hadn't been able to stay away.
But did he really...think of her like that?]