You're deluding yourself. Do you really think that if you show me friendship, or whatever it is that you're trying to do, I'll suddenly be able to go back to being who I was before?

[He can't erase the wounds he's been dealt, or the sorrow he's asphyxiated on. There's no going back. Which is why he has to go forward. Not toward forgiveness or anything that could find him contentment - he knows that road is blocked - but toward control.]