But I don't want to do any of that! Especially not betray anyone. Betrayal is something that hurts, why would I want to make someone else go through it? Better I get hurt than anyone e-- [He furiously scribbles that last part out. He's getting too emotional, showing too much of his true opinion of himself, and with this person... he's not sure he should, especially since it's something he doesn't want anyone to know.]