sixteen [action] | Saturday

[imatreenow]

[On Saturday afternoon, villagers may notice a peculiar sight while out and about in their daily routines. Or maybe they've learned not to question anything that happens here, so they won't pay any mind to Freyjadour as he carries a damp and shivering Mithos through town in what is generally described as 'bridal style'.

...There's an explanation for this. Really.

It has something to do with being unceremoniously dumped into the fountain upon return from a death penalty removal, a minor inconvenience known as pain-killers, and a major inconvenience known as muscular atrophy.

Feel free to awkwardly run into them at any point during the trek to House 11. Tread close enough and snippets of arguments are likely to be heard:]

Put me down...! I am fine.

You can't even stand. Stop struggling, please.

[Or maybe something like:]

I don't need your help.

Yes, you do...just calm down.

[They stop to rest a few times along the way, because while Mithos isn't exactly heavy, he still isn't exactly light either. And he refuses to make this easy on Frey, putting up a constant sruggle against his hold. Good thing there are benches to sit on. And awkward, sullen silence to enjoy, in which Mithos pointedly looks the other way and Freyjadour just has a patient if long suffering look on his face.]

[LATER ACTION - House 11]

Throughout the rest of the day, Mithos has taken up temporary residence on the living room sofa of House 11. The side effects of the drugs have worn off, but he's still in no condition to go off on his own. According to Frey, anyway. Regardless of his condition, a house full of humans is one of the last places he wants to be. House members, come gawk at the grumpy kid in the living room all you want. He defnitely looks like he could use a little company, right? ...Right?]

[OOC NOTE: As you probably expected, responses in the earlier part will come from both Mithos and Freyjadour. Surprise on who will tag first, decided on a thread by thread basis. Later action portion may or may not include threadjacking from Frey or Kaori. You have been warned, friends.]

Comments

[tsuntrader]

Maybe that's only a maybe. Maybe that mentality hurts the people you care about.

Hatred isn't just exhausting. It's consuming. It makes you lose sight of everything.

[imatreenow]

[Direct hit, Silver. He doesn't even realize that he stopped glaring at the other boy, now staring wide-eyed at the floor. That fork is somehow in his hand again, and his hand is a tight fist. His other hand attempts to strangle the couch cushion, fingers digging against the fabric.]

...Leave me alone. [Because he knows that, dammit, and he wishes he didn't. He knows Martel doesn't like it...she doesn't approve of it...she doesn't understand it. The anguish etched into her face as she told him he needed to stop this is etched into the grooves of his brain. He knows how much hatred consumes, because it's consumed his whole life and the person he used to be, swallowed it all whole and spat out the bones. Losing sight of everything... Did he lose sight of everything? Martel is everything... But she didn't want the spoils of any of the victories he never had, so what was the point? He doesn't know anymore.]

[tsuntrader]

So you do see something wrong with it.

[imatreenow]

I'm not wrong. [His fingers curls more tightly around the fork. Silver should be very glad that he's across the room.]

...It's not my fault. [That he was too weak to deal with it any other way. He was put into the world as something hated, and his only coping mechanism was taken away when his sister died.]

[tsuntrader]

What happened to you isn't your fault. Your reactions to things when you were a kid also isn't your fault.

But now? You need to move on and put the past behind you. You need to grow up, too.

[imatreenow]

...I haven't been a child since Martel and I were exiled from Heimd-- [right, he wouldn't know what the meant] --our village.

[But that's not even worth discussing with Silver. None of this is. He isn't letting go of this poor fork, because his fingers need something to sink into right now.] Don't talk to me about leaving the past behind...I'm sick of hearing it. Not everyone can do that.

[tsuntrader]

Anyone can do anything if they put their mind to it. Every minute you live in the past is another minute you lose in the present. Grudges, guilt, and regrets are useless. What matters is what you do right now.

But you know that already, don't you?

[imatreenow]

And what if I can't? [The assumption that all one has to do to accomplish anything is try - as if he never tried hard enough in his life - scrapes underneath his skin.] What if trying isn't good enough? Who are you to patronize me like that?

[He is very, very tempted to throw this fork straight at Silver's face.] What do you even know about anything? [Don't tell him it's all useless. Everything his life has slowly curled around, crippled and stunted and miserable...don't say it was for nothing...]

[tsuntrader]

If trying isn't good enough, you fall down, right on your face. And then you gotta get up and try again, and fall down again, and keep doing it over and over no matter how many times or how hard you fall.

[...] If you didn't throw your problems around every time you had a discussion with someone, no one would bring these kinds of things up.

[imatreenow]

[...Yeah, okay, he's throwing that fork as hard as he can, because it's the only proper response he has for that last bit.]

I'm not strong enough to do that. Is that what you want to hear? That I'm weak? [That's why you're talking to him, isn't it? To pry him apart and expose just how small he is?]

[tsuntrader]

No. I don't want to hear "I'm weak." Or "I'm not strong enough." I want to hear "So what? I'll get stronger." Or "I'll prove you wrong."

[imatreenow]

[He can't shut the journal on this conversation. He can't get up and walk away. He can't push the other. He's trapped here, exhausted and left to slowly crumble underneath Silver's words. His spine curls. His head bends down. His shoulders hunch.] Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.

[Part of him wonders if Silver honestly believes he could change if he tried. Then he has to wonder why and that throws the door open to a long string of questions he's too afraid to ask seriously. It's stupid. He knows it's stupid, to think for even a fleeting moment that he can be anything but what he is. Always pretending to be strong. Always weak.

There's safety in the immutable - something he desperately needs in all the chaos his heart has been thrown into here. He's still right. He was always right. It's everyone else who's wrong, everyone else who doesn't understand. He doesn't need to change, because you don't fix what isn't broken. He needs to keep telling himself that for as long as possible.]

[tsuntrader]

Don't tell me to shut up. [He refuses to shut up. For all that he enjoys the comfort of his silence, he can't fall back on it now.]

[imatreenow]

Don't tell me what I should do. [He clutches at the sides of his head with both hands, like waiting for a bomb to drop, like he can block Silver out, and he hates it for being so translucently weak.] Who do you think you are? Do you think you know everything?

[tsuntrader]

Of course I don't know everything. No one does.

Do you even know why I'm bothering to try telling you anything? Would you even listen if I told you the answer?

[imatreenow]

Is it because you want to feel high and mighty? You look down at me and condemn me for hating, so you can feel good about yourself? Don't make me laugh... Why else would you be talking to me?

[tsuntrader]

I'm not looking down or condemning you for hating... Or condemning or looking down at you at all. I'm not doing any of this to feel high and mighty.

I've gotta say something. I've gotta at least try to get through to you. It's frustrating to see you like this. I wanna see you keep moving forward.

[imatreenow]

You're lying. You think you're better than me... This is all a stupid joke to you, isn't it? [Why do you care? Why do you care why do you care you shouldn't care at all so why are you saying this and why does some small corner of his heart ache at those words?]

[tsuntrader]

I don't lie, I don't joke about stuff like this, and I don't think I'm- no, I know I'm not superior to anyone.

[imatreenow]

Why?

[The frantic anger that had been building up in his voice this whole time falls apart, and suddenly he just sounds lost.] Why would you care?

[tsuntrader]

...People need a reason to hate. People don't need a reason to care.

[imatreenow]

[Then why is it that he can count on one hand the number of people who have truly cared about him? Why is it that even his once-trusted companions left him behind? How is he supposed to believe that this human cares? Even if Silver knows more about him than he would like to admit... And even if somewhere inside him he wants to believe Silver could understand if he let him...]

...I don't believe that. People have never needed a reason to hate, and they've never found a reason to care.

[tsuntrader]

You've said it before, haven't you? People hated you because they fear what they don't understand. You've rationalized plenty of reasons for them to "hate". That doesn't mean everyone thinks that way, but they're still "reasons".

Can you look me in the eye and sincerely tell me that you think I'm afraid of you? That I would go out of my way to hurt you?

[imatreenow]

[Another bitter question blooms poisonously in his mind - would you go out of your way to help me? - but as soon as he asks it, he remembers Silver bringing him food, Silver offering to clean up the broken window, Silver offering to help him up off the ground. he's silent, still, hovering close to just curling up in a fetal position on the couch.]

...You wouldn't need to go out of your way. [It takes remarkably little effort to just turn your back and go.]

[tsuntrader]

[What's that supposed to mean?] ...The point is that I'm not. And I wouldn't. If I really wanted to hurt you, I would have gotten on that when you started swinging a sword and hurling lightning at me and my Pokémon.