imatreenow | six [action/voice]

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six [action/voice]

[A peaceful melody played on a panpipe can be heard through the journal, or by anyone who happens to be passing by House 52 this afternoon. Veteran residents may recognize this particular tune as one that Martel played on occassion during her stay in Luceti, but to Mithos it is simply the song his sister would play to comfort him all those many, many years ago. Even now, it remains a source of comfort, one of the ways in which he can remember Martel. He can feel her presence beside him as he sits beneath a tree at the edge of the woods behind the house. Outside, despite the chill. Martel's music was never meant to be contained by walls, just as her soul and his memories of her were never meant to be contained by death.

Recieving his sister's panpipe (yes, the very same one, even though it had been broken when last seen) has been the first good thing to happen in quite some time. It is like a reminder not to give up -- Martel still needs him.

Mithos is entirely unaware that the journal is recording him, thus replies to any voice responses (or written responses) will occur last chronologically. Just for clarification.]

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[She knows that anger and bitterness all too well, it was something she experienced every time she lost a loved one in her fourteen years of life. Different worlds, different species. They were both descriminated against all the same.]

You tell me, they're all cowards who refuse to live together peacefully. They always have to feel superior when they feel threatened.

[He doesn't know this person, but her words mirror his own thoughts and it makes it easy to forget that he is in fact speaking to another person. It almost sounds as if he's talking to himself instead...]

People fear that which is different from themselves, and that fear turns into hatred. They discriminate against those difference to make themselves feel superior. How...disgustingly foolish. [And how hypocritical of him. He does the same exact thing. Humans discriminated against him, so he returned their hatred. It was the only way to protect his heart. Is that his fault, for being unable to stand the pain of constant loathing?]

Edited 2010-12-29 08:56 (UTC)

Foolish it may be... but when we all want that acceptance and love, but everyone refuses to give it to us... What are we supposed to do? How are we supposed to keep ourselves from hating those who are afraid, when we ourselves are afraid? [She's had a lot of time to dwell on this, given how limited her blindness makes her sometimes. The dark could make the mind wonder such things.]

[Oh, right there's someone on the other end of this. His expression fixes into a dark scowl.]

I'm not afraid! Who would be afraid of worthless humans? Ridiculous. [Lies. Being despised that much is frightening - when you don't know who you can trust, or if you can trust anyone, constantly having people turn their backs on you. He pushed the world away for that exact reason.]

Because they take away the people you love before you can stop them. And you want more than anything to see them gone. [That was how she felt about it sometimes, and she still hated Humans for every loved one who had died in front of her when she couldn't reach them in time.]

... You want them to suffer every bit you have and more.

Of course I want them to suffer! No punishment, no pain, is too great for the humans that took my sister away from me. Those feelings are revenge, not fear.

Fear and revenge go hand in hand sometimes. You just push the fear back a lot because the anger is more overpowering, it provides you with the energy you need to see justice to those who hurt you.

No punishment will ever be enough to take away the pain. [Something she also knows from experience.]

I'm not afraid. You don't know anything about me. [And he's relieved about that. He had almost thought that she could see right into his heart, pull out all the turmoil bubbling inside. Of course not. Of course she couldn't...]

Edited 2011-01-02 04:48 (UTC)

Of course I don't know anything about you — I don't even know your name. I never made that claim. Nor did I actually say you are afraid. Why do you assume I did? Is it because we both have similar opinions about what happened to us? I'm only sharing what I believe...

[And he seemed to finish those thoughts almost perfectly.]

[He shuts his mouth, half realizing that his vehement denial was directed largely at himself. Trying to reassure himself that such fear - another synonym for weakness - does not exist. But it does. So many weaknesses filling up his heart, pushing on its threatening-to-collapse walls. And this girl...

...is she...the same way?

That can't be true. Nobody can understand. But...it almost seems like...

He isn't sure what to make of this right now. No reply comes, but he's still there on the other end.

Edited 2011-01-02 07:09 (UTC)

[She's a little confused when he doesn't reply, but then again... she's completely exposed his own feelings to him, although that was not her intention when she first spoke over the journal.

But she can be patient. Whether he wants to continue talking to her or not, she's still here.]

[Minutes pass before he speaks again. He still is entirely unsure what to feel about this, what to think of her, and his uncertainty is transparent in his words though he tries to sound indifferent. He doesn't trust anyone, he can't. He doesn't. He won't. But the question is so persistent that it comes out anyway.]

Do....you know what it's like? To be hated for something you didn't choose? To have someone you love taken away because of that?

[He instantly regrets saying something so vulnerable to this girl he doesn't know at all. But...he can't rid himself of the feeling that she just knows. Everything. It's bizarre and frightening.]

[Transparent his uncertainty may be, she's not going to call him out on it. Such things are hard to admit to someone you barely know, especially in a village that largely rejects such ideas.]

Yeah... hated and hunted on one side, tolerated but pitied on the other. It's... infuriating... there's so many emotions involved in it I just want to throw them away. But people expect you to tolerate it and search for more peaceful ways...

How can you continue believing in that when you watch your loved ones killed right before, but no one around does anything to stop it?

[Once again, nearly everything she says could be something pulled straight out of his own mind and heart. It's freaking him out, yet at the same time there is a deep curiosity he can't deny. There's someone in this world like him, someone who has been through similar suffering, someone who knows that the world can't be forgiven for what it has done. He sounds less uncertain as he tries to acclimate to this foreign concept.]

You can't trust anyone when the person you love most is betrayed over and over again. But when you stop believing in the world, that it can change, people call you a coward. Is it so wrong to be unable to tolerate being despised? Humans are arrogant to look down on me for that. They think they know everything, but they don't understand at all.

Because there is no way for them to understand, sometimes I don't think they even try. And even those who do, they have no idea what it really means to be despised for something you had no control over. ... Yet they still ask you to believe as they continue to pity you, they say they don't, but...

I don't think it's wrong... the burden is a lot to carry on your own, having everyone's hate placed on you.

[She's the first person to ever explicitly tell him that the weakness in his heart isn't his fault. She isn't judging him or accusing him. It's...an enormous relief, yet deeply bewildering at the same time. There is a long pause, though not as lengthy as before.]

.....Who are you?

My name...? [She's going to assume that's what he's asking, though she wouldn't mind sharing what she was with him at this point. After all, he... understood.]

... It's Kaori.

[He actually isn't sure what he meant by that question. It just...needed to be asked. But now that she's given her name, is he expected to give his own? It's a sign of trust, and he doesn't know whether or not he can trust her. His instincts tell him to push her away like everyone else. The part of him that still yearns for acceptance is drawn to her. Mithos doesn't know which to follow.]

.........Mithos.

[As soon as he tells her, he's stung with regret. What is he doing?

So Mithos does what he does best: run away. The journal is closed and the conversation comes to an abrupt end.]

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