✘ appointments

[imatreenow]

For those moments when we're in between posts and need to thread something out.

Please note the date and the type of post - action, written, or voice.

Comments

[feburary 25th, action]

[imatreenow]

Yeah... [What is he doing? He just told Jeb that he trusted him; he had opened up his heart and spilled the darkest parts of himself out. He can talk about anything with Jeb, can't he? His smile fades and he looks away, embarrassed.]

I don't like not having any control over my own actions. [Which is part of why his future self terrifies him so much.]

[feburary 25th, action]

[sketchingideals]

I...

[He hates that he's caused more tension again. He hates it, hates it, hates it--]

I don't like not having control over what I do, either. When I do things, I want it to be because... because I want to. Because I truly want to, not because I'm made to. So I understand... [He does want to be Mithos' friend. He wasn't lying, and that's something the real him wants. But while he does love Mithos as a friend, he doesn't love Mithos romantically. There's only one person Jeb feels that way about, and how many times have the Malnosso made him betray her by this point?]

I really shouldn't have brought it up...

[He holds himself loosely, trying to gain control over himself. To not get too upset, because how can he even fight against an experiment?]

[feburary 25th, action]

[imatreenow]

[A beat of silence as he stares out into the darkness; then he takes a breath.] It wasn't your fault, Jeb. You weren't in control of what you were doing or-- [feeling] --or anything either.

It's scary...not having a choice. [Is that how his future self feels? He's still having trouble seeing the world from that foreign point of view - and he's grateful for that scrap of salvation.]

[feburary 25th, action] holy shit jeb that is deep when did you get so deep

[sketchingideals]

...it is. [Jeb's looking away now, too. His voice is small, shaky, uncertain.] Feeling like somehow, your life has been paved for you. That it's not even your life, but the life of someone else. Someone you don't know.

[Terare of Earth... a former guardian of this world. An ancient elemental, struck down. A young woman who was partially reincarnated as Jeb, the other parts of her soul reincarnating as his twin brother and sister. He's had a period of questioning if he was really himself too, hasn't he? Tori wasn't the only one who helped him out of it, but her influence was the one that rang through him the strongest. Because Tori is herself, not just Donovan's fragment. So Jeb had to believe that he was himself, too.]

...but... no matter what, you're still Mithos Yggdrasill. "You" might become "him"... but I believe that "he" is still "you." [His voice picks up again, stronger.] There has to be a way to break through to him and make him realize that, too. I won't stop trying, either.

[Terare of Earth does not define him. "The fragment" does not define Tori. Mithos may change, but his future self still has a choice. He has a choice to find what he used to be again. It won't be the same, and Jeb knows that. But he knows the potential is there. Jeb believes in Mithos.]

I owe that to you. Him. Mithos. The person who will always be my friend, no matter what.