imatreenow | ✘ appointments post

I wonder how long it took you to recover from that shift.

...Why does it matter? It happened and it's over. [Right, like letting go of the past is something he's readily capable of. While he may have recovered from the shift's effects, what makes you think he's recovered from the shift's after-effects?]

Is there a reason why it shouldn't matter? You have a very selective way of handling past incidents.

It wasn't real, so of course it doesn't matter!

If it doesn't matter, you wouldn't have to go out of your way to insist upon that point.

[A gap of silence; it's brief but it lasts far too long. Long enough to affirm that she could see right through him.]

You're just trying to push your own views on me again.

Edited 2011-07-01 05:42 (UTC)

[There's something in that pause. But she's not going to press the issue once it's evident it's there.]

Call it what you like.

Edited 2011-07-01 05:50 (UTC)

I should have known you would see it as you want, regardless of what I say.

... Then perhaps we aren't so different, after all.

[a scoff. That's part of a completely different problem. ...No, not completely. Funny, how everything seems to intersect and it all bleeds together. But "funny" isn't really the word for it.]

That's what I tried to tell you back in our filthy world. Yet you didn't understand then, and you still don't understand now.

I understand more than you realize... and that's all the more reason for me to continue on my path.

If you understood, I wouldn't be in here.

You're in there because you were attacking people. Not because of your beliefs. Which I've stated before.

Honestly, do I need to examine your head to see where the hole in it is?

[this glare, with a matching scowl, is now brought to you by 50% more indignation]

Isn't that the same thing? I don't attack without reason, and I already explained that to you too.

...As a half-elf, you should understand. [This is where things start to get tricky. It's a careful balancing act, trying to draw out one of the threads without snagging the others nearby and revealing too much. Or plucking out what he doesn't want to look at. Because he isn't supposed to care that she and Genis hadn't agreed with him, but... It's always more complicated than any one piece.]

Edited 2011-07-01 07:39 (UTC)

Attacking someone who cannot defend themselves, regardless of the reason, is wrong, Mithos. As easily as you can attack them, you can also choose to walk away. You have that choice.

[And they're back to this... But when it comes to her, there's never any easy topic.]

No, I don't.

That is your decision. A conscious choice. [And why he's still in there.]

Why do you think it's so easy to just walk away from something? [he realizes a second too late that this statement contradicts what he'd said earlier just enough to discredit his previous indifference about the shift, but that doesn't matter enough right now. Because he's bitter, and he's frustrated, and he knows he's right. He needs to be right.]

Edited 2011-07-01 08:12 (UTC)

I never said it was easy. But you've certainly changed your tune from just a few minutes ago.

Shut up. [Build the wall up. He regrets having said anything on the matter; everything is unraveling with that single question. If he hadn't been able to walk away from the last shift, or from what had happened when they had encountered each other during the draft, or from what had happened with Sayo, or so many other things...]

Just shut up!

[It's ironic. He's good at running away - shouldn't walking away be easier? He wonders what the difference is and how it's so profound. Walking away means leaving something behind and never even looking back. Running away means something is chasing you, and you won't be able to hide from it forever.]

Edited 2011-07-01 09:02 (UTC)

I believe I've said all I needed to say.

[ Because she does not like to waste her time talking to idiots. Mithos is just a special case. ]

[He hates this...but what else is new? Control over this conversation had slipped through his fingers too quickly, but he can at least end it on his own terms.]

Then spare me from anymore of your naive fairytales. I don't need to hear it.

I understand. After all, you have a lot to think about already.

[ and with that, she'll be on her way. ]

...There's nothing to think about. [Maybe she's still within earshot, maybe she isn't. It doesn't matter; she would just continue to believe what she wants to believe regardless.

And what she wants to believe is everything he wants to strangle and drown. There's too much to think about, and he doesn't want to because that only validates the protruding thoughts. Lets them seep into him and distort his air-tight rationale.

He crouches by the items she had dropped off and gathers up the medical supplies. Working on his slowly healing wounds might anesthetize his mind. Everything is how it's supposed to be; he's right and they're all wrong wrong wrong; nothing is crumbling inside of him.]

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