imatreenow | twenty [action]

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twenty [action]

[Almost a week ago Mithos had returned from a mission, the first he'd ever volunteered for. It may have seemed a strange choice for someone who trusted no one, who loathed being a pawn for others, to submit himself as a lab rat for combat testing, but his choices are narrowing around him. There is something he is after. Something he can finally close his fingers around, after watching it all scream past him for so long. If he is going to be used by the Malnosso regardless of his choices, it is better that he gains something from it - which he'd had to remind himself many times to dampen the sour taste sitting in the back of his throat.

Now back in the village, he has resumed the same quiet routine as before. In the early morning, before the sun is too hot in the sky, and before too many villagers are awake, he can be seen hunched over in the garden around House 52. He tries not to wonder if the flowers, planted with the thin hope that his sister might have the chance to enjoy them, amount to anything more than a vain effort. When he decides he needs more supplies, he makes sure to visit the flower shop in the early afternoon - wondering, like a scratch in the back of his mind, if school is still in session at all, or if he'll run into someone he would rather not see at all.

Later in the day, he withdraws to the woods south of the village to train. Four thousand years of fighting are wired inside his muscles, but it doesn't hurt to stay as sharp as possible. He's still getting used to the subtle differences between a proper sword and the knife he now relies on. Slicing the air, going through the motions of killing, he feels like he is building something. When he's done, he settles in against the base of a tree and draws the ancient set of panpipes from his pocket. He usually prefers to play inside, where the music of his sister cannot be heard by prying ears, but surrounded by the forest and his thoughts he can almost forget that people exist. And so the notes come out, clear and steady.]

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[Wandering around in the woods was nothing new to Aleos. While his abilities didn't extend to include plant life, he had always felt more at ease, almost peaceful in a way that been hard to find since he got here. Maybe it was because it reminded him of places and people that mattered greatly to him, and he almost thought that the music carrying through the air was another part of his reminiscing.

It doesn't take long to realize that it wasn't, the sound might have been similar but it wasn't what he sometimes heard, nor was it a melody he knew. Despite better judgment he starts to seek it out, until he sees a familiar head of blonde hair and his breath hitches.]

[Mithos continues to breathe out the notes, feeling not the presence of the boy, but of people who are not there - people who he had played for once upon a time - until he reaches the end of the tune. When the pipes drop from his mouths, his eyes flicker open to stare into his lap.

Then he is startled to realize he is not alone. His posture stiffens instantly as he flings his hardened gaze around the woods until finding a familiar face.]

Is there a reason for your being here?

[His eyes narrow just a bit as he's acknowledged, an automatic reaction when he recognizes hostility even though he stands his ground. It's been some months since they last spoke, but Aleos remembers how the conversation went very well. He also remembers the person he had met before he had been treated with hostility.

So he's not afraid, and his voice is even. Almost light.] Would you believe me if I said it was a coincidence? Forgive me for being naturally attracted to music.

Do you think I care? [He's climbing to his feet, hiding the panpipes in his jacket again. His voice is acrid, dissolving the sweetness left behind by the melody that has now been swallowed by the trees.] You're not stupid enough to think that stopping was a good idea, are you?

I've noticed that dangers out of nowhere other than what the Malnosso do? Aren't common. So unless you think my life is in danger just by being in this area, I'll have to claim ignorance. [Not that he does believe the population is completely safe, he can't stop looking over his shoulder or holding back on responding to anything over the network because of that fear constantly wrapped around him.]

... Sorry, it just sounds really nostalgic.

[Has he already begun to let his guard down? Mithos can feel the distance thrust between them, and he decides he should be grateful for it. Aleos is not human, but he is not as divorced from the idea of trust as he is - Mithos carefully files him away. Not to be bothered with.

He ignores the comment on the music, because he does not want to discuss something so important to him with someone who exists worlds apart.]

I could easily place your life in danger. [His mind is on the knife tucked away in his pocket even as his hands remain at his sides.]

So that's your tactic, huh? You don't want me around so you begin to threaten me? [There's no visible distress to him when Mithos speaks, but there is tension that he doesn't bother to hide much. His shoulders are tense and his arms rigid at his sides, hands balled into fists as he becomes more acutely aware of the earth beneath him than he had been before. If the other would go through with his threat, it would be his ally in defending him.]

What you said to me, it's not new. [He had heard the same threat from another who had not only similar ideas to what Mithos had shared the last time they spoke, but a similar enough appearance as well. Perhaps that was why he stood his ground rather than walk away now.]

[The tension wound through Aleos's body is mirrored in his own as he calculates the likelihood of an altercation here in the woods finding its way back to Raine or Freyjadour.]

Threats are an ordinary part of life for those who aren't fortunate enough to be born human - you must know this. [But he still doesn't reach for his pocket.]

Of course, I threaten you not because of what you are, but because you annoy me.

You're right, it is an ordinary occurrence. That's why those who weren't born that way hide and masquerade as others. [But he had received those threats even when he was still Human, so it didn't make a difference to him who received them or not if there was no reason for it.]

Care to inform me how I've annoyed you? All I've done is walk by, inform me so that I may not offend you again, sir. [In case his wording didn't do much to carry it across, his tone definitely held hints of sarcasm.]

My sister's music is not for your ears to hear. [But it would be fair to say that the fact Aleos exists offends him, because he can't shake the curiosity that tugs at him, nor he can he extract himself from the sense of shared bonds.]

Edited 2013-07-04 02:58 (UTC)

Sorry, I was always under the impression that music was meant to be shared. That was the whole meaning of it. [He shrugs a bit, though instead of making any movement as though he's going to leave, he chooses to sit down instead. An act of defiance.]

And somehow, your behaviour is reminding me of my own sister.

[Consternation flashes through his eyes when Aleos sits.]

Not this music. [It is something precious; its notes hold catacombs of memories, catacombs whose air is heavy with aching and something that tries to be solace.

And now he has learned something new: Aleos has a sister. That is the sort of information that will always stick to the walls of his mind, whether he wants it to or not.]

Then you'll have to forgive me for my good memory, I don't think I'll be forgetting it anytime soon. [Not even if he wanted to, truth be told. The emotions carried by the melody were achingly familiar, and while he wasn't as attuned to music as others of his kind were yet, he couldn't stop being drawn to it in the echoes of his mind.]

It sounded like you were missing someone.

[You miss someone... His body goes rigid, pierced with the sudden bittersweetness of a memory he has held onto for years, a memory pressed firmly in the palm of his hand.

The day he met someone he had learned to call a friend.

His legs feel weak. He can feel his heart pumping through his whole body, but it's as though he's been ripped from his own body. How can someone tell just from listening to a song? The sensation of emptiness is overwhelming, swallowing him again.

Do you know what it's like?]

[He remembers that he's supposed to be glaring, but his face remains a pale shade of shocked. His voice is low, an echo of the forceful gale it was before.]

That's none of your business.

Mithos...?! [He quickly rises to his knees on instinct, subconsciously acting on the memories of their first few times talking to each other that would make him so overly worried about a friend in pain. This wasn't what he was expecting when he said that, if anything at all. Of course most people here would miss someone, but... What did he do?

His hands are only just outstretched, heart beating fast as his mind continued to run on the default reaction that a friend was in danger and he had to do something before it was too late, before she got hurt again or did something that would mean disappearing.

... But it was none of his business, according to Mithos. So he begins to fall back again, only just realizing that his reaction had made the sleeves of his shirt slide up and now that he was back in a sitting position, the cloth material was otherwise caught on dark green leaves extending out of his wrists. So perhaps a little too hastily he starts trying to adjust his shirt so that they are covered again, flinching just slightly even though some of his attention was still on the other.]

[The sudden movement draws his eyes down to Aleos's wrists and he catches a glimpse of the leaves that spark another wrenching flash of memory. Leaves. Like he'd seen behind Kaori's ears sometimes, and... Then they're hidden and he wonders if he imagined it. A trick of light through the trees, a piece of jewelry...

He's not fully convinced.

But he doesn't know which questions to ask - she had rarely spoken of the world she came from, the world that rejected what she was. Or if he should ask anything at all. Questions can lead to so many places. Do you know what it's like? To be hated for something you didn't choose? Places he's afraid of now because while he tries to tell himself that he can be strong, he knows he's still too weak to stand on his own.]

Who are you? [A little louder, but rough, and shaking with heaviness. He doesn't know what he means, or what he wants to find.] Do you think you can know anything about me just from a song? [But it's not just any song. It's his sister's, and he puts every last scrap of his heart into it. It's as wide open as he's been in front of Aleos since reverting back from innocence.]

Edited 2013-07-13 04:24 (UTC)

[Who are you? How he wished he knew how to answer that for himself. He stands up slowly, having finished securing his sleeves over his wrists, but he knows Mithos probably saw what they covered. Had it been another Human who had seen them he would have been running by now, but Mithos wasn't. That other person was a half-breed just like him, and though he knows that this place probably didn't pose a threat like his home did, his heart wouldn't stop racing, knowing that back there he would have just risked his freedom.

It continues to beat rapidly as he raises his gaze to look at Mithos in the eye, noting in the back of his mind that he was taller than himself now. But that didn't intimidate him, only steel his resolve more. Drawing in breath, he begins.]

... My name is Aldreios, a son of the Neruyl Family with Iwanoki blood. In my Human life I was Aleos Sadres, a boy who was deemed too weak and was pushed around easily. Someone who had long ago given up on living a life of my own, under the command of a Human and those who shared his mindset who did not hesitate to berate me, because I sympathized with the non-Humans of my world, specifically those who shared my ancestry, even if I was not aware of that at the time.

It was only after I met the only other halfling like myself that I was able to begin to stand up for myself, and it was only just before arriving here that I was aware of the extent of my mixed blood, my role and treasured all the more that girl who was the only one who could understand what it means to be of mixed blood, to have broken wings and long for true freedom from the madness we share.

[His glare has wilted again. Blood from two races, part human, and part something else. Aleos is like him. And that name... A familiar face quietly stretches across his memory, someone he has ached to see and hold for the past year.]

Like...her. [The words feel leaden. His heart feels leaden, collapsing deep down inside him, pumping leaden blood through him. His arms, his legs. He's rooted in place. ...that girl who was the only one who could understand what it means...to have broken wings... She had something to go back to, faceless people who he'd always been jealous of. Now more than ever, because it kills him to know that she can't remember him anymore, that he can't be the one to help her smile.

She's somewhere he can't even touch.]

Do you know someone named Kaori? [He's stopped caring about anything else Aleos might have to say, fed by a desperation like the loneliness that claws at his concave insides.]

[... So here it was, another person who had known her. He had been warned about it, but he cant help taking a hesitant step back and reaching for that instinct to deny any knowledge, all out of efforts to protect her. It was one thing to speak about the people he knew, it was another to begin attaching names. His arms raise so that he's almost hugging himself, turning away from Mithos as his eyes closed in memory of that girl, thinking about what life she had here.

Even if he does acknowledge his relationship with her... No one here could hurt her. He would make sure of that at the risk of his own safety.]

Light. The only other halfling like me, and everyone knew it. She's... irreplaceable to me. Would you have known her well?

[Irreplaceable. He stares at Aleos until it hurts to much and he has to drop his gaze to the forest floor.]

She was... She's my closest friend. She was the first person I ever met who truly understood what it's like...to be hated just for being born, and to hate the world in return.

[And she had told him that he was the only one who understood her too. Their relationship had always been grounded in reciprocation - a perfect circle. If there was another of her kind waiting for her back home, she would have said something. Wouldn't she? Which means...]

She's irreplaceable to me too. And she told me that I was irreplaceable to her.

[She must have met Aleos after she returned to her world. How long had it taken? Is she with him right now, somewhere else? He understands that he is facing his replacement. He tries not to crumble apart at the sharp sting of betrayal that slaps him across the face; he doesn't know if he only imagines the tremors spreading through him. He isn't angry at Kaori - he is angry at the system that has pulled them apart. Why allow them to meet if it was all going to mean nothing in the end?]

... I don't doubt that you are still. Irreplaceable. She's a girl who clings so tightly to what is precious, it stays with her even if her memory betrays her. [Even if people say that they return to their worlds and times as though nothing had ever happened, he can't believe that. Not when each soul has an impact on the ones it meets, no matter how small. Even if memories were forgotten, that impact couldn't be taken away.

He sighs softly, looking back up at Mithos carefully through his dark hair. Right now, like this, Mithos was acting more like the person he had met all those months ago. More like the person he thought he was like, sharing the same fears and insecurities. So he hadn't been wrong... that person he had called a friend still existed, if only behind layers of pain and anger that blinded him to genuine kindness.

It was something he understood well.] We first started communicating when we were eleven years of age... I understand she was here for some time, that she was before we realized we were more alike than we realized.

[He whips his eyes back up to Aleos, but their fierceness can't hide the jagged cracks he feels dividing his insides into smaller and frailer pieces. He doesn't want to accept words of comfort from him. The bitter taste of resentment overwhelms him - here is someone who knew Kaori for longer than he ever had the chance to, who knows all kinds of things he wishes he did.

It isn't fair.

Everything he felt the day she left hasn't left him. His system is poisoned with all the festering regrets and what-ifs; his voice shakes with it, braced only by his anger.]

She doesn't even know who I am anymore. I can't do anything to protect her, or make her happy, or anything. [He shouldn't be this vulnerable with Aleos, but it spills out on its own.] How am I supposed to find comfort in that?

You're not the only one who she can't remember, if that's true. Even back in our home, there are people whose faces she can't quite match. [And it made him afraid for her, afraid of what she might do so she could know who those people were. There were moments when she spoke that left him feeling cold and unable to speak, trapped in a confusion that wasn't quite horror at the words she would share.]

I don't expect you to be comforted, frankly I would be angered as well. Have been. [Not just with her, but with so many others. There was nothing he could do, he was useless and nothing more than a burden.] And I know you're not the only one here who might feel that way.

[So he was another blurred face to her, an erased memory she would never recover until the day she returned.]

I cared about her more than anyone else here. [His tone is cutting, discouraging any argument to the contrary. He knows she had let others into her life - faces he didn't care to know, only to distrust - but he also knows that she could not have been more important to them than she was to him, simply because they all had others. The less you have, the more fiercely you value what you can hold in your hands.]

I was the only one who accepted everything about her. [He let her hate and distrust, never judging or looking down on her - the same safe haven she gave him.]

Edited 2013-07-16 00:35 (UTC)

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